Five Weeks to go - YIKES!

Yes folks, I have only four more Sundays at the Montague Arms before I leave Blighty for good, well at least 18 months anyway and I've completed filling in the visa forms, yahoo. The China visa was particularly tricky and I had a couple of goes before filling it in correctly. Its all in the hands of my visa agents to actually obtain the visas and there is pretty much nothing else for me to do except wait for Sunday 17th of April.

Uncle and Aunt cooked up a fantastic lamb roasty to die for earlier and I'm losing the roast potato war because they are so blooming yummy, only managed eight tonight phwoar..........

Good news on the socialsing front, my best pal Tony who was working in southern Spain has returned home to south Wales so Stevie and Tony can have a long weekend of having a great time walking, eating and drinking with his gorgeus girlfriend Steffi.

Watched my other grandson Benjamin practise his cricket today and boy can he knock a six. Its great to see kids enjoying themselves but its even greater to see coaches give up their own time on a sunday afternoon for others.

Well would you believe it? Its Saturday evening, the Bacardi and coke is flowing like erm......wine, the pre dinner nibbles were swiftly dispatched, ages ago now. England are thrashing those bloody french froggies ooooops spoke too soon its now 9-9!!!!!!! Anyway I'm getting into a really nice groove at Uncle and Aunts just passing the time and waiting for the next six weeks to role by before I leave blighty for pastures new.

I met with some very dear chums last week who I've not seen or spoken too for probably 10 years and over dinner last Thursday it was just like we had only spoken the week before. So Chris and Debs, thanks for dins it was bloody fab. When I come back you must come back to my place and stay the weekend and we can have a much longer chat, a few more meals and most imporatntly down a few beers or six ha ha. Oh and Tia can come too and we can have some really good walkies.........stopping off at the odd pub for a drink only to ensure that our fluid levels are erm........correct, slurp!

The aromas that are coming from the vast victorian kitchens here at the Montague Arms are becoming just too much and I have to keep swallowing my saliva or drown in my own juices......

So the last few guys signed up to the Odyssey blog yesterday who are Richard and Andrea and are getting married on the 2nd of April and taking the trip as a honeymoon. How fab is that. The men to ladies ratio is a little low and adding CJ and Jim to the mix its just 7 guys, wait for it......drum roll........and 17 girls, OMG!

That's probaby a good idea actually as girls are far more sensible than blokes, can keep an eye on us wayward guys and also ensure we don't get into any trouble, well a little bit is ok. They can also cook, do the washing up, do the shopping, make the beds, do the laundery, keep the truck clean, set up the camp, put the tents up, iron my under crackers etc. Woagh, their girls, only kidding he hee.

Uncle, Aunty and I have been to Exmouth today at low tide to collect fresh mussels mmmm mmmmmm mmmmmmm. Blimey, I can't wait for dinner, lovely fresh mussels, garlic butter, fresh bread to mop up the juices.....slurp! A glass of wine or three, phwoar I can't wait to get stuck in and demolish those bee u tees!

I have to say a big thankyou to Gareth who is looking after my health, he's also jabbed me seven times already with all manner life saving bug busting wonder drugs and I think I have at least another couple of visits yet and probably another four more jabs at least before I'm completly dosed up. Any way, Gareth is giving me lots of really good advise and I think secretly would like to come along as well, well who wouldnt? Sorry mate but all the spare places are gone now.

I'm a third way through my stay with Uncle and Aunty so its only two months to go now before I head off to the big yonder. All my plans are coming together and I've just about everything I need for the trip apart from some very minor stuff.

Well, we all know its Valentine’s Day. But what you don't know is that my house rented out much earlier than I expected and I'm living with my Uncle and Aunt. So with VD in mind I've cooked up a meal for lervvvvvvv! Starting with nibbles of smoke salmon and parmesan pinwheels and a very nice Cava that slipped down a treat......hic! To follow a traditional fave, prawn cocktail yeahhhhh. Now I know you guys may think, hey Stevie that is sohhh old fashioned but I like it and that’s what we had, along with yes you guessed it brown bread and butter mm mmm mmm and a very nice Merlot slurp!! So now Uncle and Aunty are holding up the white flag like a Japanese sniper but wait........there's more. Stuffed chicken breasts wrapped in smoke streaky bacon, green beans, carrot batons, new pots and a very nice white wine sauce......phwoar!!!!!
So Stevie is still going but Uncle and Aunty have retired to the lounge in submission, while young nephew (me) does the washing up......but wait, there's more (jeepers). OK so we have had some nice grub but no pud mmmmmmmm, how about an old fashion sherry trifle OMG! Yep, a sherry trifle, but not just yet cous we are all beat, give it maybe five minutes and we'll be like buzzards at a gut wagon mmmm mmmmmm mmmmmmm. In the meantime though there's another bottle of wine and a huge platter of cheese. The big question is.......who is doing the cooking on our trip.......ha?

It occurred to me while watching the six nations rugby, of a trip up to Twickers to see New Zealand play England many years ago. The local pub was packed, we were all stood in what would have been the car park, beer in each hand and a couple at your feet. All the furniture and carpets had been removed to make more space I suppose for thirsty beer drinkers. The time eventually came when nature started banging on my bladder, so bursting I joined the long que for the toilet. There was no toilet door and from where I stood and waited for my turn you could see all the guys lined up having a waz. This was a some what older loo with a very large piece of white porcelain, the gutter underneath and unusually, a very high step to stand on to pee from.

Two guys (very much the worse for wear) swayed their way to the step wearing tracky bottoms and rugby shirts. The first guy Phil happily pulled the front of his trackies down and started to waz. His mate Andy was struggling to untie his knot and he couldn't push them down either and he was getting pretty frantic so he asked his mate Phil to help before he peed himself on the spot. This was now getting quite urgent as Andy was getting more frantic so with Phil trying to pull them down from the back, Andy was pushing from the front. Suddenly and with two grown men and one pair of trackies something had to give and Andy's trackies ended up down at his ankles in one swift movement. He was standing there bare arsed to the world but he didn't care because at last and finally he was getting the relief that he needed so badly.

Phil however was staring intently at his mates hairy ass as his face ended up at that level from a combination of the high step and the trackies suddenly giving way.
"Andy"? (no reply, Andy was in pee relief heaven).
"Andy, you have the prettiest bum pussy I have ever seen"

15 blokes erupt with laughter and nearly pee them selves on the spot!

So....as I sit here with an empty glass of Bacardi and coke while watching the TV on a Saturday night and wonder why I'm not on the razzzz. Well its because you are saving for a fantastic holiday Stevie you numskull! Jeez, OK, I know you are right but I just wish the holiday started a bit sooner especially as the ratio for boys to girls on the overland trip is about 4:1 weehee. Yep that's true, at the moment there are 16 people who have identified themselves on a focus group and only 3 (including me) are blokes weehee, well apart from CJ and Jim who are looking after us as we bump along but we don't count them do we..........?

Pete, kindly offered to be my referee for my project work (thanks Pete) and I've booked my flight to Sri Lanka and my other overland trip up through South America today as well, so its all go, go, go but I am still kacking my pants, just a little. I know it'll be fine but I still have a lot to do before 17th of April, including more jabs. Gareth my Dr's practice nurse said that at the end of the programme he'd need both arms and both butt cheeks to stick a needle in, I hope he was joking............

I'm now Homeless!!!!!!

Jeeps, what a whirlwind. I've just put my house on the books with Northwood, thinking it would take at least a couple of months to rent the house. Bugger me, within a week, I've moved out and a very nice lady has moved in. If it wasn't for Uncle and Aunty I'd be on the street in the cold in some doorway somewhere drinking meths...........

I've also met with my chosen charity to carry out some project work while I'm away which has also made up my mind on the locations I'll be travelling to, so pin back your eyeballs cus here it is...........

April - October 2011. Odyssey Overland travelling through 25 countries ending in Singapore.
November - January 2012. Sri Lanka, teaching English and IT (three months)
February - Travelling NZ in a campervan (one month)
March - April. Independent travel Chile, Bolivia, Peru, Bogata (could be two, could be three months here who knows)?
May - June. Jamaica community projects, rebuilding damaged homes and iliteracy training, maybe English again too (three months)
July - September. USA travelling in an RV weehee, from LA through California and Arizona, seeing all those John Wayne fim locations and the big canyan and the smaller ones too, might even spend a week on a ranch before I drive up to San Farncisco and then either flying back to blighty from there or doing a road trip across country and flying out of New York or maybe even Washington......phew!

And th