Last Weekend with Very Dear Chums

Three weeks today I'll be in London Victoria with my new chums who I'll be spending the next six months with but this weekend, my best chums Tony and Steffi have been dragging my sorry arse up steep Welsh valleys, through wooded forests and steep pathways over rocks and muddy paths. For nine sorry miles my chums have been carrying my lunch and my water, while I puff and pant and pretty much moan my way over high hill and dale for four hours.

When we get back I'm instructed to get stripped off, my clothes are washed and I'm directed to have a nice shower, Steffi meanwhile spends the next hour doing sports in the home gym, Tony prepares a fab and I must say authentic paella for din dins and I'm in the lounge having made two pints of G n T, yes peeps a pint each for the boys and it did'nt touch the sides so I made another one before dinner.......slurp!

Its now just four weeks by the date............

I was thinking the other day about the time my pal and I Tone were in Germany, funny folks those Germans.........

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.
'I vish to buy sex viz you.'
'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £20 an hour.'
'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'
'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und kneeses.'
The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees.
'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.'
She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.
'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'
She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless and the guy is paying.
She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say,
'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position?'
'Ah,' says the German . . 'zat is ze.... Four-sprung Duck technique'

Five Weeks to go - YIKES!

Yes folks, I have only four more Sundays at the Montague Arms before I leave Blighty for good, well at least 18 months anyway and I've completed filling in the visa forms, yahoo. The China visa was particularly tricky and I had a couple of goes before filling it in correctly. Its all in the hands of my visa agents to actually obtain the visas and there is pretty much nothing else for me to do except wait for Sunday 17th of April.

Uncle and Aunt cooked up a fantastic lamb roasty to die for earlier and I'm losing the roast potato war because they are so blooming yummy, only managed eight tonight phwoar..........

Good news on the socialsing front, my best pal Tony who was working in southern Spain has returned home to south Wales so Stevie and Tony can have a long weekend of having a great time walking, eating and drinking with his gorgeus girlfriend Steffi.

Watched my other grandson Benjamin practise his cricket today and boy can he knock a six. Its great to see kids enjoying themselves but its even greater to see coaches give up their own time on a sunday afternoon for others.