The Betty Swollocks Debate!

Dear Chums,

There are just four sleeps left before I depart for London and a full backpack dress rehersal was well overdue so the bed was covered in all sorts of holiday bits n bobs, stuff I must take, stuff I might take, stuff I'd like to take if there is room - we've all been there before haven't we? Except this time its not two weeks its 18 fun filled frolicking months away from dear old Blighty.

So off I went, filling up side pockets and new pockets I didnt know I had ending up with the main compartment for clothes. Battening down the hatches and strapping on the bed roll and sleeping bag for good measure I tried to pick this erm..............behemoth of a lump off the floor!! I did evntually get it on my back and buckled up all the straps and staggered to the bathroom to stand on the scales to get an idea of how much by weight the bag and contents were. Bugger me the needle went right round and past the maximum weight indicated on the dial.

Now, there is no way that young Stevie could possibly be the main cause of this sudden increase in overal tonnage so Stevie sought advice from Unky who has a large fishing weigh scales that go up to 20kgs. So, young nephew and Unky found a very stout stick to hold the scales and hooked up the sack. Two grown men, with veins straining in their necks, slowly manage to defeat gravity and get the bag off the ground. Looking at the dial, it showed the bag to weigh more than 20kgs......feek!

What to take out, and how much? This is the dilema I found my self in.....Laying everything back on the beg, double bottles of shower gel, sun cream, toothpaste and the like were the first to go closley followed by that third pair of jeans and thick tops and tee shirts. Things are getting serious now as I get down to under crackers and socks.

To be honest dear readers I do like to put on clean nicks and socks everyday, sometimes if I'm feeling very decadent I'll shower and change during the day and put on more fresh ones. I don't even know how many pairs of apple catchers I own but it probably runs to thirty or forty pairs. For this trip I thought I might take just five pairs of quite loose boxers which could double as night wear - don't want to frighten the girls at the site of what looks like a tortoise poking his head out while looking at a couple of walnuts do we? And I also thought the loose fitting might in some way provide the extra ventilation that might be needed when it gets a bit hotter. A pair of betty swollocks can be very uncomfortable as we chaps know, but will just five pairs be enough? Should I wait until they get crunchy before I change or should I count the flies that will be circling in ever larger swarms before I decide to change my under wear. Its now just a few days before I have to make my final decision and quite frankly dear readers I'm starting to lose sleep over this one.............