Laos - my new favourite place

So clearly this is the result of some serious partying on Zoe and Susans veranda late one night. We stayed at this cool place along side the river (but don't ask me where because you can get much better detail from some body else's blog). It had great restaurants, a great feel and some real charector. The rooms we stayed in were basic but perfectly functional, had a great fan and large mosquito net to keep those nasty mozzies away. This tiny resort also had a pill box used to protect the river and bridge in those nasty war days long ago past.

Apart from this big fella sleeping on the job at the back of a buddist temple, all the statues were covered in white cloths for some reason which we could not fathom, so as with this kind of trip. Don't ask too many questions and just go with the flow and everything will be fine.

All the temples in Laos were just fantastic and beutifully decorated. There are monks yound and old everywhere. We even spotted one having a crafty fag!

Young monks like all monks seem to be busy in study and I assume walking from lesson to lesson are seen all day on foot carrying small bags. Early each morning they tour the town in long rows for alms. Their food bowls are huge and all the same size, so the little monks really struggle to carry their big brass bowls - very humbling.

Loas has seen some amazing thunderstoms, when they come you either need to be in bed or in a restourant for a long time and wait patiently for the heavy rain to stop. Having another beer while you wait is the road to ruin but jolly good fun.

So Denis and I are accomplished local foodies. We walk far and wide to get local street grub and at rock bottom prices. This place in Nan Prabang was off the beaten track, you ate what was given too you, along with all the fancy herbs and spices. But a word of warning, put small amounts of chilli in and then taste. Not like I did and blew my head off, hence the very refreshing cool coconut drink we both slurped on.

So we have just arrived in Vinh which is in Vietnam. Just got back from a super lunch and now its time for a well earned snooze.

Last China Post.....phew!

Soh, this is the last part of my trilogy that is China. This delightful creature was parading outside the Terracotta museum just outside Xi'an city. In fact most of the girls in China were very erm.....pretty to say the least. A bit more about Chinese girls later!

Anybody thinking about coming to China must see the Terracotta army. Blimey what a sight to see as all these troops lined up in battle formation, complete with officers, soldiers, horses with flanks covered to ensure nobody gets through. All the soldiers and horses were once painted and must have looked amazing. The ruler who wanted to be buried with his life like army wanted to ensure that his great tomb lay undisturbed and he did this by killing all the skilled craftsmen who created them.......gulp!

There is a man there somewhere. This is recycling on a grand scale and nothing is wasted.

China is a very colourful country full of bright lights and lanterns, just like the ones for sale above in Dali.

Chinese culture is very big with temples and buildings like the one above preserved for future generations. Even some new buildings are still created in the 'old' style to preserve their national heritage - quite right too.

The girls having a bit of a sesh! Oh yes, after this it was hair, eyebrows, cupping and body massages. Yep the entire works was had by pretty much all including yours truly who had a foot massage by deaf masseurs. Probably permanently deafened by the screams of previous clientele no doubt.

This erm.....experience was recommended by someone who I regarded as a friend (you know who yo are). it all started quite nicely with a cup of tea and a nice warm herbal soak...ahhhhhh. Then it all went a bit pear shaped the pain of someone ramming their knuckles around the bottom of your feet which is excruciating by he way and if you flinch, its done even harder because your 'chi' is in need of a lot more work.....apparently. It does end eventually with a back and shoulder massage - thank god!

Soh, back to girls. All the hotels we have stayed in have liberal amounts of lady products and condoms. I have been erm......propositioned in the street, hotel lobbies, in the lift and hotel corridors. I received a phone call one late night and a very nice lady was talking to me in Chinese. I assumed it was Georges wife, so when George came back to the room I told him his wife rang. "No" he said "that was a naughty lady". If only I had known. Who knows what a good Catholic boy could have gotten up to?

So that is China, if you've not been, you must come. You will not be disappointed, it has been the most entertaining and culturally fantastic and interesting of countries I have ever been too. A month here has just been too short and we have only just scratched the surface. Sincere thanks to Charlie, Jim and George for all their unstinting work to ensure we all have the best time possible.

China, I love you!

More of the same

So...............driving in China is an awakening! Thank goodness I wasn't driving. It seems at every opportunity drivers honk as they overtake, while they overtake and after they overtake for good measure. In fact he who honks loudest gets through first and that generally is super fast coaches that come through first. They are everywhere, they even have sleepers with three rows of beds and yep those little Chinese people are fast asleep in them too. There doesn't seem to be any method in driving, if there is a gap, even if its not big enough they will try and get in and from any side. Overtaking on bends, uphill with trucks coming down all seems to be fair game to the Chinese. It must work as we only saw three mangled wrecks........? Oh and one taxi crash outside one of our hotels in a whole months worth of driving.

So this is me sat on a fort on the great wall, how cool is that? To say I was gobsmacked to be here is an understatement. This really was one of the highlights of the trip so far. It is a dream to be here and I never thought I would ever be here. Thanks Odyssey guys for making it for me.

So this is the 'great wall of China' or rather a small part of it. It is in real need of some real TLC, in fact McAlpines should put a quote in to do some serious pointing before it falls down. This was in fact out very last bushcamp (well almost). We set up camp in amongst the trees, we had a great supper thanks to CJ (thanks Charlie it was YUM). We walked up the wall, which to be fair was one of my highlights so far. When we got back to camp, about four policemen came up to camp and I thought wanted to say hello, look at our setup and generally be......well just curious. But no! They wanted us to move on and then some very big Chinese guys all in black turned up and things got rather erm.......animated. It was clear then, we were not welcome and had to pack up. We were escorted by blue flashing light to a very nice hotel in town where CJ did some very astute room negations. Which means we got a very good room rate, in fact far below what the advertised price should have been. It turned out the next morning we had camped in a restricted area, ooooops!

A rather nice view across the town of Lijiang. We were going to stop for beer, but the bar was closed. What a bummer!!!!!

At every turn, young and old are working til they drop dead- quite right too.

There are great photo opportunities everywhere. I think(?) this place was full of good luck messages and hung in the top to create a really good karma.

Bee JESUS, don't wanna get too close to this place, but isn't it great that those clever Chinese folks have thought of everything? Part three of this wonderful place to follow shortly.

China - What a great place

Hi and welcome to China. I know its been too long but those clever Chinese folk have restricted access to blogger and now I'm in Laos will complete a couple of blogs to keep you folks back home happy. The above piccy is of Charlie and George (not Georgie, Georgia or Georgina - sadly) but our super Chinese guide. I roomed with George for a month and we became great friends. You will be pleased to know our English lessons each day covered just about every swear word I know, Cockney Rhyming slang and that pussy is not necassarily cat! I was a bit teary this morning to wave him goodbye at the border. But hey ho, life goes on and a cold beer makes the world seem a much better place. Thanks little bro.

So a few things about China - Loo Roll. It must be in very short supply because in every hotel we have been staying in you get a very nice new roll. Except its only about a dozen sheets in total, so a) you have to use both sides......erm liberally and b) if you can't find the start first time lose half the roll in trying. So.....any one coming to China, train your bottom opening for maximum evacuation once a day and bare in mind the shortage here. Or its speaking to your new best friend with shorts around your ankles to get a new supply from house keeping.

Chopsticks! These are the devil invention, they are long, smooth and pointed at one end and surprise, surprise I don't think they are meant to pick up food at all. It falls on the floor, your lap, clean tee shirt and table in liberal amounts. Its only dire hunger that keeps you going, in fact by the time you've eaten breakfast, blow me its time to start all over at lunch, then dinner. But rest assured dear readers Stevie made the most of every western food opportunity and the good old knify and fork were welcomed like old chums. Yes dear pals, roast chicken, roast potatoes, bacon, scrambled eggs and pizza have never tasted so good!

Extra curricular activities included cooking class with the girls, bloody YUM TOO! Four or five courses of very good Chinese grub and beer too. What an afternoon!

China is an amazing place, it has totally blown my mind, so much so I will come back one day and spend much longer here. The people are generous, kind and helpful, workaholics me thinks too. The building programme here is astounding and on a massive scale. We have been fortunate to see only a very small part of China in a month but with the diversity and with 50 odd minority groups assure you of a culture that is both extremely interesting and varied.

The old chairman, is still evident but maybe not as much as one would expect?

Almost all towns and cities will have superb parks and Chinese lanterns, some helium filled gently bobbing in the wind like the guys above. The parks are used every day for dance, Karioki and mai jong which makes for a good stroll but don't stop too long or they will try and drag you in too.

As you can see, china is not flat and in the most part terraced to make the best use of the space available. These fields have rice in them but could have had rubber trees, tobacco, maize, sun flowers or just about anything else. The soil and climate is so good, you get two growing seasons each year.

Well dear readers, I hope that's wetted your appetite for parts two and three. Talking about wetting ones appetite "it must be beer O'clock Vicar"? "Indeed it is young Stevie". Need I say more......slurp!

Kyrgistan n Chinese food........

This is a bit of an oldie of Dennis and I looking into the depths of hell that was the gas crater in Turkmenistan. It was sneakily taken by Mandy who has a very big camera and very long lens. So I'm happy to nick hers and anybody else's photos and put them on my blog - but only if I think they are up to scratch of course ha ha. Not too sure about the double chin developing there Stevie?

Along the long road that has become Uzbekistan we come across many ancient monuments built by the great sultans who had the fore site to build erm............a giant jelly mould should the poor go hungry? Hah, it was actually a very old but obviously refurbished well. Water in the desert is very valuable, so every effort was made to ensure that it was protected as the great caravans made their way to trade with the good and the great.

Me stroking a real lion at the 'Arc'. This was a huge palace built mostly of mud and straw in Bhukara. We had a really cool half day wondering around this old an ancient city with our new guide Merza (we get guides at most new countries. These guys are experts at local culture, give you a real in site to what life was like and also where to get the best beer in town too).

This was the remains of what used to be a huge mausoleum, I wish I could remember the name of this very important guy so I should take notes huh? But it was in Samerkand, another major town on the silk road and a great place to stay. The hotels we are staying in now have really raised the bar, are very comfortable and lay on some pretty cool breakfasts too.

We've now left Uzbek and have arrived in Azerbajan for two nights. We are only transiting through and the scenery is just amazing. Managed to capture this little be u tee with my little box brownie.

So the thunderstorm raged all evening and night as it happened but luckily for us, the storm was using us as a pivot and we didn't get nearly as much rain as we could have. I thought this sunset was pretty cool though as it peaked out through a gap in the clouds.

Arriving in Azerbaijan yesterday, its always a bit of a rush to find the best place to nosh, so the gang and I headed into town for Chinese (well you would wouldn't you). Typically, you have know idea what you maybe ordering, so its a bit of a guessing game when it arrives and last night was not lucky poker night for Stevie.........to say it was shite would have been an understatement and worst of all? I can still taste it this morning ugh.........

So I say a sad farewell to my tent buddy pal Paul who has had to return to old Blighty at short notice. We have shared some prickily times together and more great laughs than I can count. When you live with some one pretty much 24/7 you get to know them very well and of course they in turn get to know you. Its that bond between two people that help to make a great trip and Paul, you've helped a great deal to make mine a super one, I hope to see you back soon.

Where Am I?

Hi Peeps, so much has happened since we last got together, and where to begin? OK, first my apologies, the piccies are not in order, I'm relying on my memory and to be honest folks its crap (but hey, you new that already right)? So, lets begin shall we. I'm sat in an Internet cafe in Uzbekistan, having already traveled through Turkmenistan and Azabaijan. Jeez what a journey that was but I'll right about that a little lower down. Man its suddenly gotten very hot, dry and we have traveled through a couple of scary deserts (not the sort you eat Unky, ha). And we even camped out in one which was kinda cool and starry too.
As we traveled through Turkmenistan CJ our ever chipper guide led us to a really cool spot in the middle of nowhere, but when we arrived there was these really neat mud volcanoes burping and farting mud. So I'm sat on one that has dried up but I still managed to get a pretty dirty backside ha ha.
So now we get confused, this is a real live crater, about 60 meters across and maybe 40 deep and its in Turkmenistan where we camped in the Karakam desert (I think that's how its spelt). We arrived well after dark, probably nearer 10 pm or 6pm Blighty time in a big Russian beast of an overland people carrier, so we didn't fall through any potential holes in the earths crust. Well this beast of a crater opened up after the Ruskies were drilling for natural gas......oooops! And its been the living breathing depths of hell now for over forty years, pretty cool huh?
OK, now it gets even more confusing. We crossed the Caspian in a train carrying boat, well the giant oil carriages do, and I think there were about a dozen or so of them. Now the big red chuffers have to pull the oil tanks off in tandem to prevent the boat from tipping over. To watch these big guys pull them off and go back and re-hitch was pretty neat. The trip across the Caspian was an adventure itself as we left about lunch time and actually arrived about 04:30 in the morning after a pancake flat sea. I chose to sleep on deck, yep that's under the stars folks and what a sight that was too.
This is an outside piccy (duh) of a large mosque in Turkmenistan (how ya doing Dad, keeping up so far)? It can hold 18,000 people and we all got the chance to see inside thanks to our new best friend and guide Max. To say I was moved by the sheer beauty of the inside is an understatement. Unfortunately no piccies folks cus its not allowed so you will have to use your imagination.
So this piccy is of our very nice hotel in Uzbekistan, the entire town is a living museum and UNESCO world heritage site. Tourism is just in its infancy here, but you can still get chips and beer a plenty mmmmmm
So back to Turkmenistan and Ashkabat (my Steavy, haven't you grown ha ha). The entire city was pretty much destroyed by an earthquake last Wednesday (erm......or maybe it was a bit longer than that) and the industrious Turkeys have built from the ground up an amazing new one. Giant fountains, huge monuments and gardens abound in this surreal capital city.
A typical monument to remember a couple of old poets by, can you imagine the same for Pam Ayers he hee.
So this is the mud stuff again, burping n stuff.
This is another cool hotel now that we have hit the silk road proper, used by the old caravans. That's camels n donkeys n stuff. They slept downstairs cus they can't climb them too good haha. Providing warmth n stuff for the owners upstairs in very nice single beds. Oh this is where, the gang and I shared what we thought was a chicken between three. In fact what turned up was a sparrow (or a close cousin) so then we had chips n shish n more beer to make up for it mm mmm
Jeez, even the gang can't go too far without having a nice cup of tea. And very nice it was too...slurp, two sugars in mine please.
If you haven't seen the big old truck yet, this is me sitting on the steps, while the gang look at yet another bloody old church. This was our last day in Georgia I think. Blimey how many countries was that? Four by my total. So now we are truly in Asia proper, things are very different now and really neat too. Hugs to you all, write soon xx

Azabaijan already?

Ok, so this is me having my photo taken next to a ahhh you get the picture and I thought the idea was pretty neat. This was in Tbilisi in Georgia (we arn't ther now) no not Tbilisi, Georgia. Its a really cool place and a lot of work has clearly been spent in getting Georgia up to scratch and clean of corruption. In fact all the Police force were sacked (apparently) on the spot, yep all 17,000 of them. They trained up a nice new bunch and hey presto, swanky new uniforms n stuff. So we arrived in Georgia, did I tell you about the brothel Paul and I went to by mistake. Trust me it really was a mistake but sorry folks what goes on tour stays on tour and its going to cost you a lot of hooch to get that story out of me. So back to Georgia, what a great place full of bloody big mountains, lots of very deep snow, so deep in fact on one steatch of our trip, they were still digging it off the road.........jeeps!

Hey, this was up a very steep hill, I did'nt make it up to the top, just about everybody else did and there was a cracking monestory up the top or maybe it was a church or a bar or something. I had a cold and ran out of puff so cried off. The sceneri here just takes your breath away and so good, I might just come back one day.

So this is the view from the tent at sunset, nah I lie. We were looking for a bar (rest assured we found one) and the sun was setting so I thought how cool hmmm? Anyway, we spend a lot of time drinking and sampling new wine and all the local beer we can get our hands on, some light weights have been having AFD's 'Alchohol Free Days'. Rest assured Stevie has been keeping the English end up.....just and is still standing.......just.

Some places here clearly have been dragged up by their boots and are looking really cool but there are loads that still need a lot of tlc. No matter couse that adds to the charm of it all. We arrived in Azerbaijan this morning after a bit of a wait at the border, but it was sunny and hey, its a new country so the next blog will have a few more piccies next time.

Hugs n stuff xx